When people ask me about how my daily life was when I was living with my biological mother and stepfather they are surprised when I don’t say that everyday was a living hell. I also had very good times in their home, from getting new dogs, you on vacation, and just spending time together.
I had very good times in their home, along with the abuse. It’s an odd mixture I know, but everyday wasn’t horrible, everyday wasn’t hell, everyday I wasn’t abused.
The abuse same in spirts, I would be beat, assaulted, screamed at, for a while, then it’d stop for a month or so, then the abuse from my stepfather would start again.
On the other hand, my biological mother was constantly abusive, but only verbally and mentally. I would be told that my biological father hated me, was replacing me, and didn’t love me. She would tell me how horrible of a daughter I was, she would ask me why I wasn’t like my sisters.
I’ve thought about this question for a while. “Why can’t you be like you sisters?” After many years, I finally have an answer, I’m not like Ashley are Erica because I refuse to be walked over, I refuse to be taken advantage of, I refuse to be abused, I refuse to be weak. I’ve watched what my biological mothers a bust has done to my sisters, I’ve watched the negative effects it’s had on them, and I do not want that for me or my children in the future. I will not have them know the abusers I know. They will not like that life.